Life's A Beach
by G-Pool
Summary: Tommy and the usual gang decide to hit up the beach for some fun in the sun, but when Tommy doesn't get his way things start to get a little bit out of control (Characters are specifically their All Grown Up incantations)


The weather was practically perfect, not a single cloud in the sky. You just can't beat days like today.

A series of cars are driving down the highway together, making their way to the beach access. They all park next to each other in the parking lot and everyone steps out of their vehicles. Tommy stretches out, wearing a tank top and green swim shorts with sandles, his purple hair swaying with the gentle breeze from the nearby waves. His younger brother Dil brushed past him scurrying to the beach, wearing an inner tube he made out rope and trash bags. Tommy simply shrugs off the usual high energy that his little brother always brings with him. Another one of his family members walk past him.

"Outta my way shrimp dick I've gotta work on my tan" his cousin Angelica stated

The royal blonde was wearing a two-piece bikini with a fashionable wrap around her waist. She was carrying a beach towel and a rather fancy drink, the kind of drink that she had to get from her emotionally weak father. As she made her way down to the sand Tommy heard the sound of two doors closing simultaneously as his twin friends Phil and Lil both slap fives and scuttle down to the shore. Their mom Betty cackles and follows behind everyone

Lastly, we see the old Finster car pull up as the family of four emerges, Chas in standard bathing trunks, Chuckie in the exact same outfit as Tommy, his adopted mother Kira in a skin tight suit ready to surf some waves, and of course Kimi, in a beautiful slim two-piece suit. Tommy's eyes are locked on the beautiful Asian queen that stands before him. His trance-like state is only broken by a pat on the back by his best friend.

"Hey Tommy, pretty good idea to have us all take some time off and go down to the beach"

"Uh yeah" Tommy stumbled over his words. "It's a, a great time out for everyone huh?"

Now that everyone was here the large group had fully set up a nice spot on the shore. Chairs, umbrellas, towels, and of course a cooler filled with refreshments. Most of the crew was already in the water when Tommy noticed that Kimi was still struggling to put sunscreen on her delicate oriental skin. Tommy slicked his hair back and made his way to her.

"Need some help?" He asked

"Yes, that would be perfect Tommy, I just can't seem to reach my back"

Tommy took the bottle and squirted the liquid protection in his hands and he slowly ran his hands down the Japanese girl's tender frame. His body wanted to involuntarily let out noises but he kept his mouth shut. Kimi realized that she was practically receiving a massage from the confident lad, and decided to lay down on the beach towel she brought so he could cover her whole body in lotion. She giggled as her childhood friend gently caressed her hips and made his way down her legs. Tommy felt like a frisky pickle as he had his hands on this goddess, he rubbed her up and down, making sure that her hips and thighs were excessively coated in sunscreen.

"Aren't you two planning to get in the water?"

Tommy looked up in horror, he hadn't even noticed how long Chas had been standing there above the two.

"Oh-oh yes Mr. Finster, just wanted to make sure nobody gets any annoying burns" Tommy shakily replied.

The two got up and went towards the water, but Tommy suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. Mr. Finster leaned in to get his mouth as close to the boy's ear as he could/

"Listen to me you fucking little horndog if I ever catch you doing something like that again to my sweet little girl I will leave you in such a way your fucking dad won't even be able to piece you back together like he does to all the broken toys you left around his house at all hours of the day."

With his hand loosening his grip Tommy slips away from the pasty father figure and slowly walks to the water. He swims over to his pal Chuckie who was corpsing face down on the water. He lifted him up and patted Chuckie on the back so he would cough up the water. Once he recovered from his near-death experience Chuckie was happy to see his friend.

"Boy Tommy I sure am having fun today!" The redhead chuckled.

"Yeah I am too Chuckie"

Tommy watched his best friend's father sitting under a beach umbrella sipping on a diet orange soda. Tommy's emotional level quickly shot from fear to anger. Why does this douchebag get to dictate what I do and where I do it and who I do it with? Poor Chuckie is so warped by this guy's way of life he doesn't ever see how cruel he can be. Tommy looks back to see Chuckie splashing in the water having a great time. He then turned his gaze to Kimi, laughing with the twins. Returning his eyes to their portly father Tommy clenched his hand.

"No one can tell me what to do" Tommy thought, "I'm gonna do this whole neighborhood a favor and tell this guy off"

As the day went on Tommy tried to distract himself by enjoying the day with his friends and family. The sun began to set so everyone began to pack it in. Angelica hobbled back to the car, her body bright red from a sunburn so serious she would have gone straight to the hospital had her mother given her an insurance plan and not a "Just walk it off" mentality all through her life. Everyone said their farewells and drove off, even though they all live in the same neighborhood.

Sitting at the dinner table Tommy was eating dinner with the family, the usual family banter. As everyone finished their meals Didi and Stu got up from the table to head to bed, while Tommy sat with his grandpa Lou. Lou noticed that Tommy didn't have his usual vim and vigor about him.

"What's a matter sprout, get blueballed?"

"What the- yes actually. How could you tell?"

"Sprout when you get to be as old as I am you can practically smell when your fellow man is denied his sweet release. Now what's the problem?"

Embarrassed, Tommy tells the story about today, what happened and how it happened.

"Chas huh?" Lou stated "Y'know I always thought that guy was a dick, and cringy as fuck too. How he got one of those beautiful slant eyes is beyond me."

"I know right!?" Tommy replied.

"Alright sprout, I'm gonna help you. This isn't the kind of work that you should have to get into alone. We're gonna get you your god given release."

Hidden under the veil of darkness the two made their way to the Finster's home, wearing Didi's stockings over their faces. Chas the ever so nervous man always made sure his doors were locked, but that wouldn't stop these two vengeful warriors. Grandpa Lou began to scale the side of the building.

"Alright sprout, watch me swooce right in! Swooce swooce" Grandpa announced as he made his way up to and down the chimney. Almost immediately after the front door popped open, letting the young boy inside.

The two made their way in. Silently they stalked around the house looking out for the man of the house. Grandpa used some of his old army hand signals to direct Tommy to his objective. Tommy simply nodded and the two parted ways. The purple-haired criminal inched his way to the bedroom of his beloved. Soon he was at Kimi's door and gently opened it without a single creak. Carefully he tip-toed his way over to the sleeping girl. Removing his mask, he put a hand on her shoulder in an effort to wake her.

"Uuhhh, Tommy?" Kimi asked, "Is that you? What are you doing here? Do you know what time it is?"

"Don't worry Kimi," Tommy replied with a smile, "I'm here to help you. Come on let's grab your stuff."

"What are you talking about Tommy, I don't wanna play right now just let me go back to sleep."

"You don't understand, you just don't understand. If we don't get you out of here right now there is going to be loads of trouble. We've gotta move quickly"

Tommy bent down to pick up the reluctant Japanese queen but she struggled and refuted to give in to him. She jumped out of bed to get away from him.

"Knock it off Tommy! This joke has gone on far enough!"

"B-but Kimi, if we aren't together and you are left here, who knows what will happen? You've gotta trust me!"

"And you've gotta trust that I don't need this at two in the morning! Go home before I call my dad!"

Something inside of Tommy snapped

"Your dad huh? Is that what you want? Your dad?"

Suddenly a shrill voice is heard from outside the room. Kimi instinctively rushes past Tommy to go see what's happening in her house. She walks out to find an unconscious Chuckie Finster with his shirt pinned to the walls by a staple gun, as well as some masked Loco Bandito wrestling with her father figure. Chas is covered in bruises with his hands zip tied behind his back. There was an apple stuffed in his mouth to keep him quiet. Just then Tommy comes out of the room

"Aw shit aw shit shit shit shit!" He cries

"Tommy what is going on! This is mortifying! Help my dad please!"

Tommy stood there motionless. He wasn't sure what to do anymore. His world had been shattered after being turned down by his one true oriental express. Kimi rushed into the fray to get the stocking-wearing villain off of her father, but he proved to strong and the effort was wasted. She was shoved back and bumped her head on the counter nearby, knocking her unconscious.

"What happened sprout!? You had the easy job here!" Grandpa said as he forced pressure with his knee into Chas' side, causing the poor man to tear up.

"I-I-I don't know!" Tommy shouted back, "She didn't wanna do what I asked!"

"Ya see this is why I went to war against their kind, let's get out of here and never deal with their kind again."

Grandpa kicked Lou in the temple knocking him out as well. The next morning Kimi found herself in bed.

"Wow, what a crazy dream. I gotta lay off of dad's special brownies"

As the sun is shining brightly bringing in the life of a new day, we see Tommy standing in the window of his room holding binoculars in his hands as he beats off to the sight of Kimi's mother Kira changing her outfit in the window. Upstairs in the attic, grandpa Lou is doing the same.


End file.
